We all had a great Easter weekend. I did realize I was having a really BAD Monday the day after Easter and I think it had to do with the fact that it was my first real holiday since Jeromey has been over seas. On Good Friday, we all went to dinner at Applebee's. It had been a while since we had ALL been together. Jeromey happened to be online at that time, so I wasn't much for talking during dinner as I was too busy chatting with him on my phone through facebook. I am always glad to chat with Jeromey and will drop just about anything to do so. Its a little difficult to do in public sometimes though, because of the different emotions I have while chatting with him. He may just say something that makes me miss him terribly, or we may be having a serious conversation, and my emotions want to get the better of me. I have become pretty good at keeping them under control (most of the time). Saturday, I took Matthew and Austin with me to Burlington to attend the send of for Jeromey's original unit the 389th Engineering Company out of Middletown. I have become close to the other wives in the FRG since last year and these are some of the people who I turn to during this difficult time. Some of Jeromey's best friends are also in this unit still, so I really wanted to go and show our support for them. These people are my "Army Family". It turned out to be a beautiful day, and the attendance was quite large, so the ceremony was moved outside onto the football field. The National Anthem never sounds the same anymore. Many times, I get goosebumps when I hear it thinking of what it means and represents. It is especially touching when in the presence of our troops. I did get a little emotional, and shed some tears, but it was a not as hard as I had anticipated. It was mostly due to the fact that all I could think was "Jeromey should be here with THESE men and women instead". After the ceremony, we had been invited to take the boys to Fun City with some friends. Jeromey's best friend Stuart also came along, as he had nothing better to do. I hope he had as much fun as the boys did. I actually became more emotional (internally) being at Fun City without Jeromey than I did at the ceremony. We have just spent so much time there together that it was strange to be there without him. Sunday we went to church with some friends, and then spent time with family for Easter. I got to chat with Jeromey a little. He asked what we were eating. I hate telling him, cause I feel like he's missing out. I did hear that the Canadians are feeding them well and that they have gained a few pounds since being over, so I don't feel so guilty :) As you are walking in to Proctor and Gamble, right by the turnstiles we have 2 newspaper stands. One for the Press-Citizen and one for the Gazette. That Monday after Easter as I walked in to work, splashed on the front page was the headline "Iowa Soldier Killed in Afghanistan". Immediately my heart sank. Not a great way to start the day. I knew that it wasn't Jeromey. I knew it wasn't anyone in Jeromey's unit. I knew all this, but couldn't help but feel even more worried than usual. I was in a horrible mood all day. That afternoon after picking Austin up from school, we headed to Iowa City. When I miss Jeromey more than usual, I get out of the house. Being home without him just makes it worse. I was an emotional wreck! After a mini breakdown, we went to dinner. Jeromey was online this whole time so we were chatting. Still not ready to go home after dinner, Austin and I headed out to the mall. Another breakdown before entering. I was just really missing him, really emotional, and REALLY wanted/needed to hear his voice. It had been over a week since I had heard his voice. Their phone still wasn't working. I was getting frustrated. I think he could tell I was having a horrible day. Finally he said he would try something and if it worked, he would be calling me. Well it worked! He wasn't able to talk long at all but I finally got to hear his voice. I just kept saying "thank you so much for calling. I really needed to hear your voice!". My emotions did a complete 180 immediately. I couldn't stop smiling! It carried into the next day even. That is the funny thing about phone calls, just one is enough to get me through a couple of rough days. This last week we have been chatting pretty regularly, so it has been a lot better than the last week. I think it was last Tuesday he had finally received all three of the other boxes I had mailed to him, along with a box from his sister. It made my day to know he finally got all the goodies I had sent! I asked what his favorite thing was and he said "everything". So I made him pick just one thing and he said the pictures. His only complaint, I didn't send pictures of the dog! This past weekend was another busy weekend, but a lot of fun.
Last night I was sitting at home doing some stuff before bed. Austin was already asleep and I was getting some things done before turning in myself. I was getting ready to get in bed and decided to check my facebook (which I had just checked 20 minutes prior). I was very surprised at seeing almost everybody had a status proclaiming that Osama Bin Laden was dead. My initial reaction was disbelief. After all this time, and all the talk of him hiding out in caves I really thought he would just die of old age before he was found. Not because I didn't believe in the capability of our troops but because he seemed to be some sort of Hide and Seek champion :) But seriously, I was most certainly not expecting to hear that news at that time. It came out of no where. I think after the surprise wore off, I immediately began to feel dread. What does his death mean? Is his death going to rally his followers to retaliate? What are the repercussions of this? If Jeromey wasn't over in Afghanistan I am pretty sure that I wouldn't have been so quick to think of these things. I think I would have just thought that finally they had found someone who had been elusive for so long. Now, all I could think was how this would affect my husband and our family. I was very glad that shortly after Jeromey got online. I knew deep down he was not in immediate danger but after the news of Bin Laden's death I just really wanted to hear from him. I am definitely worried that this will bring extra "action" over there. I hope and pray that I am not right. I will continue to hope that each day is just as "boring" as the day before for Jeromey and the rest of our troops. I read on facebook somewhere that "the most important part of Obama's speech was 'No Americans were hurt during this mission' " and I couldn't agree more. At the very least, no more lives were lost to capture the man at the top of the FBI's most wanted list. I have seen a varied mix of emotions on facebook about what has happened. I personally have my own opinions and thoughts, but will keep most of them to myself. Everyone is so quick to judge others for what they are feeling or thinking or saying. Some people aren't American for what the feel, some people are just stupid Americans with no concience for what they feel. All I want to say is this, your feelings are YOURS. Whatever they may be, whether they are shared by many or none. You have a right to be happy, angry, sad, scared, excited, proud, any or all of the above. It doesn't make you wrong, and just because someone isn't feeling the same, it doesnt' make them wrong either. We all have different things that are important to us, and different life experiences that define us and will dictate how we react emotionally to a situation. So if you read a status that states an opinion different from your own, remember that that opinion more likely than not does not directly affect you. May God bless our troops and bring them home safe. I pray for Him to watch over each and every soldier that is deployed and away from loved ones.
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