1 week down!

Well we all survived the first week, barely!  No really it went okay.  Monday was Matthew's last day with us, as he went back to live with his mother.  Since it was a paid holiday for me, I went to have lunch with Matthew at school and spent the rest of the afternoon there with him.  It was a sad day for me, but I think he was excited for a new adventure and being the new kid.  As I'm typing I am thinking "has it really only been a week?" because for me it feels like so much longer.  I am hoping this isn't going to be the norm and that only the first few weeks will be long and eventually that time will just fly by.  I did countdown the days in a planner and have a day when Jeromey should be home.  He will be home around my 30th birthday so we will have a BIG celebration!  Luckily for the time being Jeromey and I are still able to talk to each other on a daily basis.  This is making this time pretty easy for now.  I know that there will come a time when this may not be the case and when I will be waiting by the phone to hear from him.  His presence is so missed around the house.  I am currently warming Echo in my scenty warmers and using the room spray because it smells like him.  I can tell that Austin is missing his dad and brother just as much as I am.  The other day while driving in the van he said "it used to be four of us and now its only two, I miss when it was four of us".  We are keeping each other company and I am trying to make the best of this time for the two of us to bond.  Austin had a sleep over with his best friend Kobe on Friday.  Normally I would be more than happy to have time to myself, but not this time!  I was dreading sitting at home alone.  I asked my sisters and posted on facebook to ask for some company.  I ended up going to dinner with my sisters, sister in law, mother in law, and cousin in law (is that right? lol) then we went to a movie.  I am SO appreciative of them for keeping me company and keeping me busy.  I would have probably spent the night crying and moping if I would have stayed home by myself.  Saturday I ran errands and waited for Austin to be ready to come home, and of course even when I picked him up I don't think he was ready.  Today Austin had his first wrestling tournament without Dad.  Grandma Ford and my sister Alesia came along to cheer for Austin.  At the beginning of the tournament they played the National Anthem.  I do have to say, that hearing it now is a lot different than before.  Before, it didn't have much of an effect on me, but now I can say it stirs up emotions.  It has just taken on a lot more meaning to me.  I will admit that Jeromey's deployment has made me more patriotic than ever.  Austin got cold feet right before his first match today, and I'm not sure why.  He was almost in tears and told me he didn't want to wrestle.  I'm not a mom that is going to push him to do something he doesn't want to, but I also was not going to let him quit.  So I told him that because he had chose to sign up for this tournament, he was going to wrestle.  I told him he didn't have to do the next tournament if he didn't want to, but I wouldn't let him quit this one.  His first match was a tough one and he got pinned.  He was upset with himself and even said "I suck" as he was walking off the mat, but after talking to his former coach Pete, who was this kid's coach, he felt better.  Pete let him know that the other kid had over 50 matches under his belt where Austin ony had 12.  His next match was against and even tougher kid and all Austin could say before the match was "he's a 2 time state champion and he made a kid's shoulder pop out and it was so bad he had to go to the hospital".  Ausitn does have a problem with psyching himself out before a match and its something I've tried to help him with.  I couldn't help but chuckle to myself though.  Although I know the kid wasn't lying about being a 2-time state champion, I realized how just by saying that he had already defeated Austin before the match even started.  I told Austin that next time he should tell all the kids he's going to wrestle that he's a 4-time state champ.  Austin held his own against this kid and didn't get pinned, but he did get tech falled.  For those of you who don't know wrestling, that means the other kid was ahead by 15 points.  Its one team point less than a pin, so I suppose its better than getting pinned.  His third match he pinned his kid in the 3rd period!  After the 1st he could already tell that he was out wrestling his opponent, so his attitude and demeanor was a lot different than the previous two matches.  He was smiling and having fun out there.  I told Austin that we could eat wherever he wanted for dinner.  He picked the Vine, because he just loves wings.  We ended up going to Donnelly's because my sisters were going to be there watching the Steelers vs Jets game.  We had a good time and my cousins stopped by too so that was nice to see them.  All in all, we survived the first week. I'm not going to lie, I had some rough days.  I cried some, and really just felt kind of depressed at times.  But I was able to rely on my wonderful support system of friends and family and get through.  I found a cute saying "God found some of the strongest women, and paired them with Soldiers", and although I believe its true, it takes a special kind of breed to go through what we do, we wouldn't be as strong were it not for help and support.  I can't imagine living away from friends and family and having to do this.  Some women do, and I know if I had to I could do it, but I am glad to be in the situation I am in instead of that one!  Jeromey has been really busy this whole week.  I know he has some catching up to do so I think time might be flying a little faster than it is for us back home.  I do know he misses everyone terribly.  Its also VERY cold where he is.  So he is probably not enjoying any outside work he may have to do.  I am trying to be vague here because there are OPSEC (operational security) rules that we must follow.  I am new to all this but have found out that there should be no exact dates or locations.  So although previously with my countdown of time left before he was leaving was probably some kind of a violation, now that I am aware I am trying to comply.  Again, thanks so much everyone for all your support.  Don't forget about Red Fridays!  Wear red on Fridays to show support for the troops until they all come home.  Looks like I have some shopping to do.

Edward Sharpe & the Magnetic Zeros - Home (JVTP)

I just love this love song! You should look up the lyrics. "Home is wherever I'm with you"

Jeromey's poem

I had to share this real quick.  This is what Jeromey's status on facebook was shortly after he left.  Didn't know my hubby was a poet huh?  Made my day, and he is so right.  We are going to get through this because we ARE tough.
"the time has come the day is here, i know this cause we have all shed some tears. i hated pulling away and watching you cry, just remember this is NOT goodbye. This time apart is gonna be rough but we can get through this cause we ARE tough! Love you ALL!!!"

Deployment weekend...

 T-shirts we had made for Jeromey. This is the back. The front says "Supporting our Troops" with the Engineering castle on it

Yes I am BAWLING in this picture

So the last 8 days flew by of course.  We had a party for Jeromey last weekend which was a succes.  This week we were busy tying up loose ends and preparing for his deployment.  Thursday he had to report to Decorah.  My in-laws were wonderful and took the boys for the night so it was just us.  We drove up and checked in to our hotel room before he had to be at the drill hall.  About the only good thing I can say about this place was that my room was warm. We didn't do anything exciting. Just a quiet night in with pizza and tv.  That is a perfect night for us, so it was nice.  I had to drop him off early the next morning at the drill hall so he could prepare for the send off ceremony.  I had the whole morning to myself and I took full advantage!  I took my time getting ready and watched MTV all morning since we don't have cable at home.  The rest of the family arrived around 11:30 and we hurried up to get ready to head to the send off ceremony.  The minute I walked up the the Center for Faith and Life at Luther College where the ceremony was, I began to get emotional.  There was a group of what I think were Legion members holding Flags outside of the building.  It was just so overwhelming to think about what they were there for.  There were a lot more tears shed before the ceremony even started.  There were 23 of us there to show support for Jeromey. I know there were MANY more who wish they could have been there, but sent there well wishes and prayers.  The ceremony was held in an auditorium at Luther College.  The band started it off by playing as the soldiers marched in.  I cannot describe the feeling when they began to march in, and when I spotted my husband out of the group of men and women who all looked the same.  I was SO proud.  I started crying (again), I had a huge smile on my face, and I was filled with pride.  These people are doing something that not just anyone could do, they do it willingly, and without many complaints.  MY husband is one of these people.  It was a wonderful ceremony with several speakers.  I cried some more, when they read the order, when the Captain spoke about missing his children's activities, when a soldier re-enlisted and she read her oath.  I'm sure you get the picture that I cried at just about anything.  We had a nice dinner at   the "Oak Steakhouse" attached to the hotel with our family that came for the ceremony.  It was nice to sit around and relax with our loved ones.  After dinner we spent some time playing games before heading to bed.  Saturday was pretty uneventful since Jeromey had to spend the day at the unit packing and preparing for their trip.  The worst was going to bed Saturday night.  Just knowing that this was going to be the last time we would be able to sleep next to each other for a long period of time made it difficult.  We had all the boys climb in bed with us and we enjoyed some family snuggling for a little while.  I kept thinking that if I didn't go to bed, then today would never come and he wouldn't have to go.  Well that didn't work. I passed right out and sure enough, Sunday morning arrived.  I woke up at 6 when my alarm went off, and woke Jeromey up.  He had to report by 7am. I had been told that I shouldn't show up unitl 8:30 or so, so I went back to the hotel and finished getting ready. I hurried as fast as I could, because when I dropped him off I saw there were other spouses there.  I wanted to get in as much time with him as I could.  The morning consisted mostly of us following him around while he got everything ready.  The boys were in awe of Dad's gun he was carrying around.  I was trying to keep it together.  I did okay until I saw others cry.  That made it that much more difficult to hold it all in.  We stood around and took more pictures, because you can never have enough, and just waited for the time to come.  It did and let me tell you, I hated every minute of it.  Jeromey gave everyone a hug and some words of advice.  They seemed to be about the same for everyone.  Something along the lines of "Be good, and mind".  I did not want to let go of him and I held on as tight as I could, for as long as I could.  This last part was all outside in 11 degree weather.  So after 20 minutes of standing outside we were all freezing.  We stood outside and waited for the buses to pull away so we could wave one last time.  After they were all gone we went back to our cars to thaw.  I had a hard time when I finally got home this evening.  Pulling in the drive and knowing he wasn't going to be here, had me wanting to stay in the van.  I pulled it together, got out and made it in.  Getting supper for the boys and other little things kept me busy until the boys bedtime.  I got emotional once again after sending them to bed.  Its not the same sitting here alone in this big house.  Tomorrow night it will be that much more empty because Matthew is going back to his mom's.  She has decided that since Jeromey is gone, Matt should live with her and he will be transferrign schools.  I pray that this is best and that he will adjust well to not only his father being gone, but moving homes, and switching schools in the middle of the school year.  I will be an emotional basket case in the months to come but have several ideas for keeping busy.  On top of the kids, my full time job, and my Scentsy business, if there is time left I plan on taking a course for medical transcriptionist or coding, or possibly a pharmacy technician. This will be 100% paid for through a grant that is offered to military spouses.  I will be able to take this while I am still working for Proctor and Gamble because it is one of those "work from home" type programs.  I'm really excited about this because in the future I want to find a job at the University where I don't have to work 2nd shift.  So I am surviving as I knew I would.  But of course would still rather have my hubby here at home. 

8 days and counting...

So one day closer, and it is not seeming that I am getting anymore used to what is about to happen.  I keep trying to prepare myself, and tell myself that I will be ok.  Honestly I know I will be.  I know that the year will probably go faster than I think.  I also know that we will miss Jeromey terribly.  I know that some days are going to be really rough without my best friend, and that I will be an emotional wreck!  Ah, but that is who I am. I have always been a very emotional person, who can cry at the drop of a hat if I’m in the right mood.  I know when I get upset it does not make it any easier on Jeromey. (Honey, for this I apologize.  I know you hate seeing me cry, and I really do try to stay strong.)  I do want Jeromey to know that I support him 100%.  I know exactly why he is actually looking forward to this.  It is who he is!  For those of you who know Jeromey, you know what I’m talking about.  He is just one of those people that wants to help.  If there is something he can do to help someone he knows, he will do it.  It’s one of my favorite things about him.  He has a big heart.  So with that being said, I know WHY he is more than happy to serve his country.  I am very proud of him.  To leave your family, friends, and all that is home for an unknown place takes more courage than I could ever muster.  Jeromey Allen Ford, You are my hero.  You make me proud to be not only YOUR wife, but an army wife.  Thank you for all that you do, not just for me and our family but for our whole country.  Some days I break down and cry at the thought of him leaving, and some days are a little better.  Today is one of those better days where I am filled with pride at my husband’s sacrifice, and I realize that this is bigger than me.  In a couple of hours, I may feel differently.  I am on an emotional rollercoaster and all I can ask is for God to guide me, my friends and family to put up with me, and my husband to hurry home safely.

12 days and counting...

Well here we are only 12 days away from Jeromey's deployment.  I guess we never thought that this day would really come.  I know back in July when Jeromey got a call that he would be going over, I freaked out.  He was told before this would happen he had some medical things to get taken care of.  Well these things were taking forever, appoitments were cancelled, rescheduled and eventually, I just figured they forgot about him.  Ha!  Well needless to say, early December we got a phone call informing us that he had orders and would in fact be deploying.  So the last month we have been trying to prepare and have tried living by the quote from Muhammed Ali "Don't count the days, make the days count".  This has been tough, and we have reminded each other over and over to not count the days, but cherish the little moments before he leaves.  Anymore though, as "the day" draws nearer, different words seem to be stuck in my head.  "I'm gonna miss this, I'm gonna want this back.  I'm gonna wish these days, hadn't gone by so fast".  Just the other night, as we were laying in getting ready to sleep I couldn't help but realize that 2 weeks from then I will be going to bed by myself.  Those of you who are married or have been in a relationship probably understand that after falling asleep next to someone every night for so long, their absence makes it hard to sleep.  The bed seems too empty, I'm never quite as warm, I toss and turn. So this realization really made me upset.  Its the little things we take for granted everyday that seem so important now.  Kissing him goodbye this morning as I left for work had me wanting to crawl right back in bed and not leave.  I guess you could say I feel this way most mornings when I kiss him goodbye, but even more so now. So I will try my best to make these next 12 days happy, positive, and full of love and laughter.  We have a party planned for Jeromey this Saturday.  A chance for family and friends to come by, eat, have a drink, and wish Jeromey well. I know I have great family and friends for support, and I know we will survive this.  If this is the hardest thing we ever have to face as a family, well then I consider us blessed.  That doesn't make it easier, or stop me from wishing he didn't have to go.  I am lucky enough to have met some people who have done this before, and that is a comfort in itself.  If they did, well so can I!  I plan on keeping busy with work, the kids, and my Scentsy business.  Wish us well, keep in touch, check in and most importantly, keep Jeromey and the rest of the troops in your prayers.